Let go to Let in
I Decided to Trust Myself
I was tired. I had been resisting an aching warmth at my chest. But when I closed my eyes and went inward I felt that it was actually a scorching heat. There's a blazing fire here!! As I cautiously approached I was caught in place. Overwhelmed, I couldn't look away from what I saw.
There's fury, passion, rage, love, strength, jealousy, vulnerability, shadow, light, desire, truth, creation, destruction, courage, hopelessness, warrior, healing, pain, power, fear, lust, hate, grief, joy... the fullest expressions of being, dancing and swirling together in unpredictable bright orange, red, yellow, blue, purple, green, white glowing streaks clawing out and reaching up to the sky, staring me down with penetrating knowing right in my eyes, asking, Can I feel it?
Watching this burn, a recognition in me starts to rise up, it's familiar! I start to move, to trust myself, to grow fangs. I have missed this! I wanted to feel more! But some of what's in the fire I have tried so hard not to be for so long... I started to see how beautifully they are all connected and even fuel each other. It hits me if I want any of it I will be taking all of it, I have to. This fire is burning down ev.er.y.thing outside of authenticity in its presence. I see it's reflection in my eyes and I exhaled into the truth.
It was all me.
This lifeblood was wanting to be expressed through me, and I wanted to be alive. I removed the damn, the stops, the binds, the mask of restraint, opened my arms, leaned back, and let it come out of the dark to sit with me now in power, creating the life of my choosing.
Holy shit, things were about to get really good...